Dating site humour

08 Jul

If you would like to use this information for commercial purposes, please contact me via my home page.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.That's an automatic fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.One day he came home and told his wife that it was time to retire because he had been fired from his job.She began to scream and yell, "You have given them twenty years of devoted service. " "For twenty years I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer," he explained, "and today I finally did it! " "Well," he said with hesitation, "they fired her, too and she's going to retire." Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. 'Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.