Dating with german guy

03 Aug

Sexy German Man Underwear Deutschland Flag " data-medium-file=" w=300" data-large-file=" w=798&h=533 798w, w=150&h=100 150w, w=300&h=200 300w, w=768&h=513 768w," sizes="(max-width: 798px) 100vw, 798px" /Here’s the deal: I am a straight, married, American expat from Portland, Oregon, now living in Hannover, Germany. This is why, years later, single life and the one-night stands which go along with it are about as interesting to me as white hot birdshit.

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Consuming the traditional German diet is like getting down on your knees and praying for a heart attack.

The abundance of meat, bread and beer certainly hasn’t made any sexier, so what the hell man? Maybe it’s greater emphasis on walking and cycling as means of daily transportation.

One day, in a social setting, I asked a medical student here in Germany why the guys seemed so tall.

He didn’t think his countrymen were any taller than mine, but suggested if there ingenious theory, however, was that German winters typically last longer than those in the States, resulting in less sunlight and an overall deficiency of vitamin D.

Young German guys are the exact opposite; they’re style-conscious, thin and freakishly tall.

Listen, I’m 5’10” tall when I’m wearing thick soled shoes, standing up perfectly straight and totally lying to myself. They are, as my wife would put it, “.” Obviously there are exceptions — I’ve seen a few short guys here too — but most of them are like the Ents from the Lord of the Rings; elongated tree people, all lanky as hell with arms and legs akimbo.

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We’re arrogant snobs, is what I’m saying, so please keep this in mind as I make another sweeping generalization about the young men of northern Germany. They start learning English in the 3rd grade, and I know this because I have the incredible misfortune of living right next to a primary school.

Every morning I get to hear these little nerds singing English nursery rhymes while I’m trying to work: TEACHER: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout…” SCHOOL KIDS: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout…” ME: “DOWN CAME THE RAIN AND WASHED THAT FUCKER OUT! ” Anyway, their language studies continue right on up through high school, and even if they don’t pursue it any further, they’re exposed to English on a regular basis through TV, movies and music.

Hell, most of my German friends even speak a limited amount of some additional and totally unnecessary language, like French. Hell no, but I triple-dog-dare you to try and find a stupid polylinguist.

With 80 million inhabitants, it is the most populous member state in the European Union.

The country is the major economic and political power of the European continent and is an historic leader in many cultural, theoretical, and technical fields.